Human to Human : People Aren't Fantasies

Sardax says of The Marquise, “a true amateur in spirit but professional in skill.”

This is from her essay offering tips for inexperienced men looking to meet dominant women.

Think about useful skills, qualities you like about yourself or have been complimented on. It is little different from highlighting your good points in a vanilla relationship. This can be a template for your ad. It can also be used for replying to an ad, but be sure to address the specific criteria that the domina has outlined. …

She isn’t going to be wanting to see photos of your penis: hopefully you have some value to contribute to her life beyond that. And do really make sure that you actually read the ad with the intent to learn about her, not to invest her with your fantasies.

… Doms have interests beyond bdsm. Find out what they are and approach in kind. Be honest, they will find out if you are dissembling and you are ultimately only cheating yourself. Give her some idea of what benefits she may receive from associating with you. Also it is more important that the two of you will be compatible in other ways besides the sexual if you are looking for a long term relationship, so in this case it doesn’t make sense to only present the physical aspects when you answer an ad. She will be interested in what you like eventually, but initially concentrate on her, its what she wants primarily that counts, not the other way round. The internet and publications such as this one will help you in your search. Stay open to possibilities, use all the avenues open to you, and be willing to adjust (not compromise) your expectations to meet the contingencies of life.

You are more likely to seem interesting because of a shared interest in jazz, sports or hobby. If you can’t remember that you are writing to a living woman, a human being and not a fetish model you shouldn’t even bother sending the email.

The whole article: Meeting A Dominant Woman