Real Submissives
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Janet Hardy (Greenery Press) on “real submissives.”
You can accept the fact that all healthy people have their own needs, and that you’re never going to find a submissive partner who doesn’t have needs of his or her own — at least not one that you’d actually want to spend time with.
Instead, watch for the guy who is clear about his needs but willing to explore other options, and steer clear of the one who wants things exactly his way every single time, without regard for what *you* want. And then accept the fact that unless your needs and his are a reasonably close fit, you won’t be able to play well, and you’ll wind up frustrated and bitter.
Any writer or leader who tells you that there are so-called “real submissives” out there who have no desires of their own, but exist only to serve, is lying to you (or has had singularly good luck in finding submissives whose needs are close to his or hers).
Dom(me’s) advice/abuse from ‘subs’
Comments
I love Janet Hardy.
And I can’t believe how you’ve been mining the 10 year old newsgroup archives. I only lurked back then on SSBBF, but there were some excellent discussions.
Posted by: Tom Allen | March 1, 2009 9:41 PM