Unrealistic Expectations
» Online » Real Life
From an old discussion on soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm.femdom:
Developing a love interest online is a tricky business: loving someone in the real world is filled with spaces… quiet moments, banal moments, boring moments, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, driving to the dentist, having the flu. These spaces when we’re not intensely connected with our loved ones are expected, we’re comfortable with them. But when you fall in love with someone online, the relationship is “distilled” … those moments are removed and you’re left with a LOT a “quality” time and very little downtime- time spent talking, playing, emotionally holding hands (or more)- but if one thing is for sure, you almost never *waste* time with one another because if you live in the busy world the rest of us share, you don’t have TIME to waste. You make the most of every moment.
But this sets up terrible and unrealistic expectations, often despite how grounded you are or how rationally you consider your relationship. It is, at it’s core, the perfect interactive fantasy and that intense, heady, passionate fantasy all too often doesn’t translate into real life. The odd thing is how well ~friendships~ translate into real life, though, but that might not be so odd after all- it probably has something to do with expectation levels and a distinct lack of sexual tension inherent in the initial meeting.
