Ask For a Date

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Many dominant female as looking for submissive males who have more than their submissiveness going for them. They want a guy whose company is pleasurable in ordinary circumstances. Example: someone they can share a meal with.

Your first communication shouldn’t be loaded down with all your kinks and fetishes; you shouldn’t wallow in your submissiveness.

There’s no need really for you to write about D/s or S&M (or whatever fancy labels you like to use). She already has a good idea of what you are seeking.

Say instead you hope an exchange of emails or instant messages will lead to meeting for coffee or a meal. That is: write in terms of seeking a date. The other things will come if she likes you; they won’t if she doesn’t.

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On the date: what any partner wants - female or male- is to know that they possess some kind of unique quality that makes them special to you. Both genders, Top or bottom, appreciate a partner who notices the “little things”. My 24/7 sub, on our second date brought me an art book he owned that he thought I might enjoy reading. He remembered on our first date that I mentioned my adoration for Salvador Dali. We dated for a long while before moving in together. The relationship progressed to a very deep level because, I know he hates sugar in his coffee, likes B-rated movies, spaces out when he is stressed, and cannot stand when I leave empty containers in the fridge. He knows I cannot drink my coffee without creamer, my cat only likes crunchy crab flavored treats, I hate when he leaves his socks on the floor and, he can cheer me up simply by playing his saxophone. It is the little things. The kinks and preferences came in a discussion long after our fourth date.We are so into each other we kinda forgot to ask about the sexual aspects of each others lives.

From my perspective, do not drool, pant or, stumble over yourself acting submissive until invited to do so. Forcing your submissive desires on someone that does not know yet how interested in you they for your other qualities suggest not only rudeness but also an unwillingness to accept that D’s are human and need connection on more than just a sexual level too!

Also, politeness goes a long ways. Always thank the person for meeting you.

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