Femdom First Dates

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BDSM first dates shouldn’t really be much of a question.

Where do you go on your first date with a domme? I was standing in the middle of a nickel arcade yesterday, having an absolute ball playing on video games that I haven’t seen in *years* (galaga, Knights of the Round Table, Gauntlet, etc) and thought if a guy ever brought me here on purpose.. for a date.. that would be it, leash and collared on the spot .

What are some of the more unusual places you’ve been taken to or have taken a domme or a sub on a date?

Why would you go anywhere other than where you’d normally go on a date?

See the answers: First Dates

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First date with a Domme:

Two things: the first date should show you’ve done your homework and can put on a good show, but secondly, it should not set her expectations too high, i.e. if it works, be prepared to do it again.

First of all - lose the labels. A woman worthy of respect wants to be treated as such. Just as the heiress or the princess don’t want to be just a label, the Domme doesn’t want treated like a caricature or a two dimensional person. That goes for you as well. Don’t be a “sub”, be someone “worth” dominating. Show her that you’re worthy of her time and attention.

Next, do your homework. Check out every source you can (including other members of her community) to find out what she likes. Is she active and outgoing? Does she like lots of activity or does she prefer quiet and privacy? Ball game or art gallery? Intellectual or emotional? Remember, the first date needs to revolve around her, not you. Whatever you do, don’t suggest a date until you know what she likes to eat and drink.

Because it’s a first date, it should start with an activity. That gives time for some shared experience, so that you’re not having to bridge those awkward silences when you don’t know what to say. Ideas include a vinyard wine tasting tour, hiking in the hills, an art gallery opening, go kart racing, one of those pottery places where you can decorate and fire a piece together, a cake decorating seminar, flying in a glider, a bicycle built for two or a latin dancing lesson.

After that needs to come some alone together time. Maybe you could row her around a quiet pond, or find an outlook with an isolated bench. Walking barefoot along a beach or through a park, etc. etc.

Finally, the meal. If you’re not a gourmet chef with an immaculate condo, go for the best restaurant you can afford. Hint: get the head waiter in on it. Tell them in advance that this is a special Lady and you want the experience to be so romantic that the restaurant will become “our place”. Hint 2: try ordering the same entree as your Lady and sharing a dessert. Hint 3: think of some topics of conversation, anecdotes, revealing stories about your past, etc. ahead of time so you’re not fumbling for words.

Finally, if this is a woman you want to give yourself to, you will be under pressure. Don’t sweat it. She will appreciate a little nervousness in you. It shows that you care. It’s also ok for a few silences. If you’re enjoying something together or touching in some way, then there is already a conversation going on. Show your emotions. Describe how you feel. Lots of eye contact and you might just lose yourself on the first date.

Good luck!


I have just accidentally come across this site and so far I must say “Wow, what a breath of fresh air!”

There are so many misconceptions regarding the reality of femdomme - mostly perpetuated by the internet and porn.

As someone who has recently re-entred the dating pool, I have found myself frustrated immensely by the expectations of men - particularly because I am also a fairly well-known professional and those approaching do only see me in 2 dimensions for the most part.

I have to say this article is in keeping with what I would say.

Many thanks to the poster.

Just like any other date go with the feelings. Be your self and don’t be fake. Like any other dating, if the BDSM thing is to work then it will. Basically, if she knows your a sub and you know shes a domme than all that’s left is chemistry, and that answer will reveal itself in time.

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